Little angel, Unknown!

Little angel unknown, I, am, my place as an angel in a secret land.
I didn't have a name as such, you didn't get the chance, I wasn't meant to live on earth just touch you by the hand.
I've been sent to touch your lives and I know you'll think that cruel, but it's only special people that are chosen exeptions to that rule.
I knew you would love me from the very start, from that first sighting and beating of my tiny heart, so I know that it will hurt you that you have to say goodbye, but I'm your guardian angel now and I'll dry the tears from your eyes.

I'll be there by your side wherever you now go, I will hear you speak of me often and what I might have been if I'd grown, I'll be the special angel in the picture the you have, I'll remind you of my brother and my dad, I'll have your little features all of you as one and I'll love you always as my special mum.
You might not have got to see me as a living breathing thing, but I'll be the ribbon round your heart and my love will be deep within, this pleasure I promise will be mine, to be your guardian angel from now until the end of time.
I'll gift you with my presence every night within your dreams, walk always as your special unknown angel gifted to you within, just for a short while, so think of me often and smile, for I, am your very own special unknown gifted child.

Xxxxxxxxx

A Dad's loss...........

With fathers day on Sunday I have been thinking a lot about Mike!

Dads so often feel forgotten in the loss of their child. Most people realise the physical and emotional pain of the mother but feel that the father did not really "know" the baby. But the meeting of souls is not always connected with physical interaction.

Just as there are "Expectant Moms" there are "Expectant Dads". From the beginning, Dads adjust their lives to incorporate their new child. Emotional, mental, and financial considerations and changes are made. They have their special hopes, and dreams. The baby learns the tone of their voice and responds. The whole new direction their life would have taken, has been suddenly and completely destroyed.

Dads are the strong ones, the heroes for the Mom. They are the ones that had to be the rock through this terrible ordeal for the family. That's why Father's Day is especially hard.

They are bombarded by the wave of feelings that this occasion brings, but often can't express them because they feel that letting go emotionally is letting down their family.

Remember these special guys and remember this day is significant. Even if the Dad has no children with him physically, he still is a Dad. Dad's appreciate respect of boundaries, but you can say that you know today might be difficult. And you can refer to his baby that has passed. It validates his child's life.

I let myself love you!

I Let Myself Love You


I let myself love you
As soon as I knew
I let myself love you
But you left too soon

I knew I might lose you
Just like I lost my other
I knew I might lose you
But I am your mother

I wanted to keep you
And watch you grow
I wanted to keep you
But I should have known
I cried when I lost you
Because I loved you from the start
I cried when I lost you
Your death broke my heart

Now I just miss you
I want you here with me
Now I just miss you
My baby unseen

I let myself love you
There was no other way
I let myself love you
But I will meet you one day

I loved you from the very start....

I loved you from the very start…

You stole my breath, embraced my heart.



Our life together has just begun,

You’re part of me, my little one.



As mother with child, each day I knew

My mind would be filled with thoughts of you.

I’m daydreaming of the things we’ll share,

Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.

Like first steps and skinned knees,

Like bedtime stories and ABC’s.



I’m thinking of things you’ll want to know,

Like how birds fly and flowers grow.

I’ve thought of lessons I’ll need to share,

Like standing tall and playing fair.



When I first see your precious face,

I’ll pray your life be touched with grace.

I’ll thank the angels from above,

And promise you unending love.



Each night I’ll lay you down to sleep,

I’ll gently kiss your head and cheek.

I’ll count your little fingers and toes,

I’ll memorize your eyes and nose.



I will linger at your nursery door,

Awed each day that I love you more.

Through misty eyes, I’ll dim the light,

And whisper, “I love you” every night.



As mother with child our journey’s begun,

My heart’s yours forever, little one.



I loved you from the very start…

You stole my breath, embraced my heart.

BUT.....
No more ultrasound pictures were ever taken.
No heartbeat was seen or heard again.
No more weekly doctor appointments were ever needed.
No planning or anticipating of the next several months.
No looking forward to the aches and pains of pregnancy.
No baby shower to plan.
No baby clothes to buy.
No hours of labor to dread.
No feelings of complete happiness and love after your delivery.
No reason was ever given why I had to lose you.