Relecting on 6 months in Singapore!

Wow, 6 months in Singapore! At one point, living in Singapore just felt like a distant dream that wouldn't actually materialise, but here we are 6 months down the line.

I'm sitting in our cool, air-con lounge with the fan pointing directly at me and its only 7am. I'm looking out over the city and it looks SO pretty early in the morning. Definitely seems more beautiful when one is sitting with windows closed and air con on - once you venture outside, it's a WHOLE different story!



Reflecting on our last 6 months here there have been many challenging times but also many amazing times!

1. Weather:

I remember telling a friend at work that I was moving to Singapore (She had lived in Hong Kong for a bit) and her reaction was, "oh my gosh, they don't have ANY seasons there - it's just HOT ALL THE TIME!" And my thoughts were, well, it can't be that bad? I have always preferred summers over winter so that would actually be great!

Well, was I wrong! I have NEVER experienced heat and humidity lie there is here! It was so bad that I felt constantly nauseas for weeks after arriving here and felt as if I couldn't get enough fluids in.
We were warned that in "summer" (June / July) it gets even worse and I thought that it actually couldn't get ANY worse, but OH MY, was I wrong!! IT GETS WORSE!! On average the temp is about 34 degrees with about 95% humidity everyday!
I am really grateful for our big pool here because it has really been our life saver!
Sweat just pours off you and I'm still trying to figure out how people actually exercise in this heat. We once did a long hike in MacRitchie Reservoir, and I felt sick for days afterwards and was dehydrated!

This smile below was a FAKE smile!!



2. People and culture:

Coming from South Africa, I didn't realise that we had such a unique and different culture - especially when compared to Singaporeans. We don't realise how often we throw in Afrikaans or slang words in our speech that others are actually familiar with. We just expect them to 'get it.

- It was such a "jol".
- She had no "skaam" in just pushing in.
- "ag shame"
- "ya, no"
- "is it?"

Now to make things easier for Singaporeans to understand we just add a "Lah" at the end to combine some Singlish and Afrikaans. ("It was just a jol, Lah!")

We also assume that all cultures have braais that contain Wors and chops.
We realised how wrong we were at a braai organised by our dear friend Gilbert, who put things on the braai that I had only ever seen swimming in the sea! Sting ray on a braai was a 'hit' that day!



We organised a braai at our condo a few weeks ago and true South African style, it was gonna be a lunch time braai at like 1pm, everyone brought cozzies, we got some 'wors', salads, watermelon etc. Well other Singaporean friends of ours said to me before hand - "You guys having an afternoon barbecue? At Like 1pm?" To which is replied, "um, ya!? Bring your costumes and we will have a nice relaxing afternoon by the pool".
Well, half way through the afternoon, while we were eating, we all wondered where Dawn and Josh were. At about 5pm, Josh arrives and is shocked to see there is little food left for him.... He had figured there was no way we would braai at 1pm and decided to come later but then realised that when Mike says he is going to braai at 1pm, he actually means 12:30pm!

It has been amazing getting to know our Singaporean friends better and understand their culture too. I think it's very easy to go to a different country and just want to stick with your expat friends or other South African friends - and there is definitely a time and place for that. But there is no need to isolate yourself from the local culture! As much as we crave normal western burgers and pizza, its also awesome going to eat at the Hawker stands and food courts and have the famous "Chicken Rice" or Panang cuisine.



We have learnt SO much about Singaporean and Chinese culture from our local friends and they have even enjoyed coming over to our place to enjoy some rugby!

3. Transport:

Man, we miss our cars back home! I miss having Mike drive me around in his Bakkie!



Cars here are SO expensive to drive. You need a Certificate of Entitlement to drive a car here too which is a few tens of thousands of $. The government wants to encourage more people to use public transport!

The public transport system here is oh SO efficient and is run like clockwork, but it's not so pleasant when it's crowded and you are stuck next to sweaty people!



Sometimes it can get really busy too.....



But other times it is really awesome!



But this is my ULTIMATE treat if I don't want to walk in the heat:



4. Work:

This has been a VERY challenging part of our time here. I won't go into detail now, but I'm grateful that I have been able to resign from my current job and was offered a fantastic job as a Grade 2 Teacher at a big International School here. The offer came somewhat out of the blue at just at the right time. Mike will also be working there as a PE teacher which is awesome! We both start there on 1 Aug 2012 when their new school yr starts!



5. Travel:

What amazing opportunities for travelling we have from here. We have a lot of places we want to visit and thats on our 'to go to" list.
But this first 6 months we have gone to small, quiet local Islands, not far from Singapore and Malaysia. It has been amazing!
We went to Sibu Island for the Easter weekend. We had to catch a bus from Singapore to Malaysia and then drove for about 2 hrs through Malaysia to the ferry terminal and then caught a ferry out to Sibu. It was such an awesome time away!!

Photo's just dont even do justice!





Mike and I went to Bintan last weekend - its a little Indonesian Island off the coast of Singapore. It was stunning and a really nice, quiet gettaway!





We have lots of travel plans for the next year and can't wait to go do some more exploring. Some are big trips and others more local.
My next scrapbook is a scrapbook of all our travelling! :)

6. Apartment living:

I was nervous at first thinking we were going to live in a match box - but I was pleasantly surprised. We are comfortable in our apartment and have a gorgeous view over the city as we are on the 15th floor. We LOVE our nice big pool too!



When we see a free standing house, we do drool a bit, but apartment living is SO different for us, that we enjoying it while we have it. There are SO many amazing green parks around here to get out into that we do get our dose of nature!



7. Church:

We have absolutely loved our church here in Singapore! We have LOVED the people, we have LOVED serving and are extremely excited with all God is going. We are moving this week out of the old venue at the Cathay Cinema to our own building which is VERY exciting! Just love being a part of it! They are our family here! :)



8. Children:

I wish I could announce " We are pregnant with twins" or something like that that.
Its just the 2 of us still but we continue to trust and have faith that one day God will add to our family - in whatever way that is, and that we can take our "little clones" on our travel adventures too! Our hearts are so ready to love!!

For now we just LOVE other peoples children!


So, what an incredible 6 months it has been!
Its been a time of growth and change. It was just what we needed.
Yes, we miss home many times and desperately miss our friends and family but I think this change was needed - for our healing and growth too!

I look forward to whats to come and to having lots of visitors staying with us in the months to come! :)

God has been incredibly faithful in our time over here, with providing so much! Physical things as well as people to support and love us too!

Bring on the next chapter!
xxxxx

Silent Tears

“Tears are the silent language of grief”

It has been 3 years since I fell pregnant with our first baby and I have been feeling rather sad lately!
The sting and rawness of the pain has gone but that feeling of 'something' missing is still there.

I really don't know how a little being that we never met or got to hold can be missed so much?
It was like we were so connected in those first few weeks - as if I knew the type of person they were going to become, and what they would look like.

I remember lying in the hospital bed in the surgery waiting area and resting my hands on my tummy and literally saying goodbye!
I woke up after the D&C and my first thought was "I'm not pregnant anymore". My baby has now gone.

When we knew that the baby had died and there was no heartbeat, it was only 3 days later that I was booked into hospital.
So for 3 days I knew that my baby was not going to be born but yet I was still carrying it (yes, it was very freaky and weird thinking it was still inside me but yet I was still protecting it) I felt like a mom.

When I woke up after the surgery my heart sank and this immediate empty feeling filled me - I'm not going to be a mom, I'm not pregnant anymore and my baby is now officially and physically gone! It was over now!

I LOVE my time with Mike and I love the fun and adventures we are having but there really is a 'dull' quiet time in the evenings.

I 'miss' bath-time, I 'miss' supper time, I 'miss' bedtime story time.

Even though we never had any of those times I feel like I miss them.

I really ask myself how can I actually miss something I never had - but I honestly do!

My heart is sore but I know that in a few days I will feel lighter, but for now, I'm yearning for what I've lost!

A Fathers Heart

With Fathers Day coming up next weekend, I have had so many thought on my mind.

I know a lot of friends, for whom this Fathers Day will be their first one as a dad.
For others, it might be a difficult day as they may have lost their beloved fathers and miss them terribly on a day like Fathers Day.

For others it may be day that is difficult as it reminds them of what they long to be - a dad. But for some or other reason they are still waiting - and not through lack of trying.

Just as much as Mothers Day can be difficult for me, Fathers Day is just as tough for Mike.

This year Fathers Day falls on the anniversary of the memorial service we had last year.
It was a very emotional day but it was very special to share such emotions with close friends and family.

That day was a turning point in our grief journey.



This was the letter that Mike had written to our babies. Such honesty from a dad to the children he loved SO much but never got to meet.




Dear Children,

Words cannot describe the joy I felt when I heard your mother was pregnant. I was filled with such hope and excitement that you were going to enter our lives. I knew that my life was going to change, but I didnt realise it would change as much as it has.

I had hopes and dreams for you and I was looking forward to being your father. I was looking forward to teaching you about life, about God and about all the things I have learnt in my life.

Words cannot describe the sadness that filled my heart when I heard that each one of you had died, that sadness remains in my heart. I'm sad that you died and I felt helpless to do anything to change the situation.
Even though you were all a few weeks old, I felt like I had a connection with you. I felt like I knew you and I knew the people you were going to become. Never in my life have I known people for only a few weeks who have changed my life so dramatically.

I long for the day when I will meet you all again in Heaven and have the opportunity to be your father.



I have been thinking about all those "dad's-in-waiting". The ache in their hearts is real.

But this Fathers Day I want to honour MY husband. He is a dad who doesn't have little hands around his neck telling him they love him, but he is a man who has shown incredible strength and wisdom.

He may not have baby puke on his shirt, but many a time he has had my tears on his shoulders.

He may not be sleep deprived due to midnight feeds, but has had many sleepless nights praying that we will get through it all.

He may not have spent days in the maternity ward visiting his wife and baby, but he has spent many days sitting beside his wife in hospital while she has had surgery and procedures done.



He may not be out in the park playing with his kids, but he walks past and prays that one day that will be him with his kids.

He may not be doing 'late night Pharmacy runs' to get meds for the baby, but he is at the pharmacy getting his wife all the hormone pills and medication she needs to try sustain life inside of her.

He may not be bankrupt due to money spent on baby paraphernalia, but rather due to money paid to fertility specialists, hospital bills and medication.

He is a Dad-in waiting who has stood by his wife's side no matter what.
He is a Dad-in-waiting who has cried himself to sleep but picked himself up and carried on.
He is a Dad-in-waiting who has spent money to ensure his wife has the best pre-natal care possible.
He is a Dad-in-waiting who is the bravest, strongest and most courageous person.
He is a Dad-in-waiting who has often asked 'why' but has always known God's deep love and faithfulness!

This Fathers Day I want to honour you, Mike, and I know that you have made our babies VERY proud!!