How to start a family?

Most often couples who go through infertility often hear people say, "Well, you can just adopt?"

Well, It really isn't JUST lets adopt!!

Today Mike and I went to meet with a social worker who gathers information and completes the couples home study. This home study gives "Permission" for the couple to be parents!

I had no clue what to wear!! When I was changed I asked Mike.... "Do I look like a potential Mom?"

It's rather strange to think that someone else is going to give you the "OK" to be parents! I totally can understand why - there are way too many cases of abuse, neglect and child trafficking that happen out there!

So here is just a "SHORT" list of what documentation needs to be gathered and handed to the social worker for her to start the home study(HS):

1. Register with an online portal here in Singapore so they can just keep track of adoption taking place.

2. Sign a declaration that there is no foreign child staying with us while we under go our home study.

3. Complete and sign consent forms for the agency to commence with the HS.

4. Complete a questionnaire - VERY comprehensive questionaire!

5. We need to complete online training on baby care, attachment issues, bonding etc.

6. Documents:
Passports
Employment Pass documents
Birth Certificates
Marriage Certificate

7. Health Check up: we need a full medical checkup.

8. Employment verification: Proof that we have a job, how long we have worked there and what our salary is.

9. We need to give a statement of net worth - all life insurances etc.

10. A copy of tax assessments for the past 2 years.

11. A monthly budget showing our income and monthly expenditure and showing that we do have money to support a child.

12. Copies of our academic qualifications.

13. Criminal background check - proof that we dont have a criminal record.

14. We need to give 2 character references each.

15. Guardianship: We need to nominate someone to be guardian of our child if something had to happen to us and that person has to give a signed acceptance of guardianship.

Once all the above documentation is collected, the HS can begin that includes an office and a home visit.
We need to ensure that our house is armed with a smoke detector and a fire extinguisher!

Once the HS has been completed and a final report has been written, we then need to contact another agency who is responsible for sourcing a baby.

That is a tricky part because we living in Singapore and the logistics of it can be complicated.

So, please think twice before saying to a couple "Oh, well if you cant fall pregnant, you can JUST adopt!"

All the above is ONLY the logistical part, never mind the emotional part that accompanies the process!

We have lots to chew on!!!