My last post was Mothers Day, which I found particularly difficult this year and I actually thought it would be easier as we are away in a new country and away from old reminders.
But I actually just wanted to sleep the day away and wake up the next day!

Lately, there has been such a little niggle in my heart - like a longing and a yearning!
I really miss what we have lost - my heart really feels sad sometimes!

Mike and I have booked a weekend away on a little Indonesian Island for the weekend of the 17 June.
We only realised yesterday that that day is Fathers Day - and we were relieved that we were going to be away.
Perhaps just time with the 2 of us would be great!

Fathers Day is a very difficult day for Mike too and that just makes me sad!

When I got home from work yesterday, I knew that he wasn't himself and after some probing, he said that he had a good cry yesterday after stopping in at the 7-11 shop to buy a drink on his way to his touch rugby game. He saw some Fathers day cards and emotions and feelings came up out of nowhere! Sneaky grief emotions! They come up unexpected sometimes!

Another significant event happened on the 17th June last year.
We had our memorial service for our babies on this day!

I hated having to officially say 'good bye'. That was definitely not something I had expected when we had decided to start expanding our family! We had to say goodbye too soon, TOO many times!

(My 'last' moments with my baby!)

(Our memorial service)

Grief is such a journey - everyone is on their own path and takes their own time to work through what they need to!

There is so much more that is going through my mind right now but I actually dont know how to put my feelings into words! Im not feeling very articulate this morning, but my heart is just overflowing with feelings and emotions!