30 years

As my 30th is fast approaching I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately!

I think we all have expectations of where we want to be and what we want to have achieved by a certain age - and if we are all honest, very few of us follow that specific road because life happens.

Who sets those rules?
Who cares if you don't have your 2.5 kids by the age of 30?

Have you failed if you haven't bought your 1st house by 30?

So what if you still single by 30?

Society thinks we will only be happy and content if we are married with kids, drive the 4X4, bought the double-story house in the suburbs and have a 'good' job by the time we reach a certain age.

How wrong is that! It puts unnecessary pressure on people.

I was one of those people!

I have had my few personal struggles through the last 4 years and it threw me!

I didn't know how to make sense of my life.

Losing my pregnancies, dealing with the loss that each baby represented and experiencing the grief that I did, was the first time in my 26 years that I had to deal with life taking an unexpected turn.

My life had been sheltered and "safe" up until that time.
All of a sudden I had to deal with feelings and emotions that I didn't think I had the capacity to have - anger, rage, jealousy, hurt, raw pain!
It was such a low time! :(
I hate the pain that I experienced but I treasure what it's taught me.

I wrote down 30 things I have learnt over the last few years.
Some may ring true with you, some may be obvious but hit home for me.

1. Life is fragile and precious.

2. Spend time with people who build you up and encourage you.

3. You will not get poor by giving.

4. A woman is no less of a woman if she doesn't have children or is unmarried.

5. Do what makes you happy. If you are unhappy, do something about it.

6. Spend time enjoying the simple pleasures in life - whatever that means for you.

7. Don't judge others decisions - you have not walked their path.

8. Sometimes people don't need your advice or answers - they just need someone to listen to them.

9. If someone is grieving - let them grieve, it's a natural process they need to go through. You can't "fix" them.

10. Take time to feel emotions you are feeling.

11. Compliment others.

12. The promise was not that life would be perfect but that we would be held.

13. Try something new. You might really enjoy it.

14. Your self worth does not come from others approval of you.

15. We are all blessed - regardless of material things we have or have not.

16. Never underestimate the importance of sleep.

17. We don't only live once, we live EVERY DAY.

18. Life goes on, regardless of what you are going through.

19. Family loves you unconditionally.

20. Treasure the few friends you have, rather than please everyone.

21. You can't ignore grief, you have to experience all the feelings in order to heal.

22. Don't measure yourself against what others have or don't have.

23. Some friends come into your life for a short season but impact your life enormously.

24. Be honest with others.

25. Be honest with yourself.

26. Know when it's time to say goodbye to one dream in order to make room for another one.

27. Look after your body.

28. Respect that we are all different and that we may have different dreams in life.

29. It's a privilege to celebrate with others joys, but to also share in their pain.

30. A problem shared, is a problem halved.