Love

I have recently been struck with how sometimes people can be overcome with feelings that they never saw coming! Especially for those people who are grieving!

This morning is was in the kitchen doing the dishes (yes, I do venture into a room called a kitchen every so often but only because we had friends around for dinner on Thursday night and I just HAD to do dishes).
There I was with my hands in soapy water and all of a sudden tears started running down my cheeks and I had this overwhelming longing in my heart for my babies!
I just started praying and asked God to give each of them a big hug and a kiss from me and asked Him to tell them that I loved each of them SO much and that I missed them SO much!

Then it struck me that I never got to actually know my Babies but yet I feel like I know them and I know what type of children they would have become! Crazy to all of a sudden be so overcome with emotion - out of the blue like that, years on. Obviously, pain lessens as time goes on but the are always moments where my heart just crumbles and I miss what could have been!

That's what grief is! I don't wish to go back to the raw times at all - that was the hardest and darkest time of my life and how grateful I am that I have moved on!

But for today, for now, my heart wishes I could be sitting on the couch with all my babies on my lap and telling them how much I love them all and smothering them in kisses! Each of them brought us such joy for the short time they we with us!!