I have been feeling particulary sad today! I have been thinking about what could have been. I took out my scan pictures and just stared at for a good while. Not sure how much time had past but it was a while.
We are just not in control of things that happen in life. The good and the bad.
People say that all these things build character, well, I've had enough of this character building thing. I sometimes fantastise about ever seeing a heartbeat on a sonar screan - it seems so unobtainable! How will I feel?
At the moment I am fearful, fearful that I will lose another baby, lose more hopes and dreams and expectations that have been so much a part of who I am for so long!